There's an
explanation for these photos at the end….
Am I a secretary?
Am I a rebel?
Am I innocent?
Am I a pin-up?
Am I a slob?
Am I an engineer?
Am I a slut?
Am I weak?
Am I strong?
I am me. A human. A
person. My sex does not define me. My clothes do not define me.
All of these photos are gathered from my Instagram and are things I wear on a fairly regular basis. They are not posed specifically for the post. They are chosen as nods towards the stereotype of each description chosen.
The other week someone said something in an off-hand manner that left me fuming for the rest of the day. Many a rant has been had and many a discussion started with people close to me.
I find when talking
about feminism it's very easy to come across as someone who is
incredibly uptight and can't laugh at themselves or just plain old
perceived “man hating”. So I don't tend to discuss it too often
in a more public forum. However this incident won't let me let it go.
I maintain and
repair gliders and motor gliders, as well as the odd bit of light
aircraft work. It is predominantly thought of as a man's job, one
which I am more than capable of doing and have done so for eight
years now.
Whilst standing on
the edge of a casual discussion at work, which turned to some
paperwork that had a small mistake on that had been rectified, the
gentleman speaking turned away from the man I work with (doing
exactly the same job, exactly the same engineering role, and the
majority of the same qualifications), laughed and looked away from
him and directly at me and said:
“Well we'll have
to blame the secretarial staff won't we?!”
He was swiftly and
politely corrected. What's made me stew is that I have spent hours
now thinking about it. Okay, it's an outdated view point from an
older generation of which this gentleman is part, but that doesn't
excuse it.
It was hopefully
mostly meant as a joke, but does accepting sexist jokes like this and
letting them slip past without repercussion mean we are accepting
casual sexism as part of society? Does it make me an arse to confront
people who truly meant no harm but just haven't thought?
I spent quite a
while at work thinking about how I dress and how I present myself. I
used to do work in old jeans and vests and far too many jumpers once
it got colder. I felt rubbish about myself, I didn't enjoy what I
wore and quite often I was colder than I get now. Now I wear leggings
and skirts and vests to work. Mostly pencil skirts. Along with
scruffy plimsolls and on this occasion quite a lot of silver paint
and yellow etch prime!!! …..maybe I should wear overalls again!!
There was still the odd bit of sexism when I dressed to blend in with
the men and there still is now I'm obviously dressed “like a girl”.
Which is another phrase I don't feel I should be using here as I am
as girly as usual if I'm wearing a pink dress or overalls!!
I'm as guilty of the
casual sexist thoughts as the rest of us. If I see another woman in
the clubhouse at the gliding site who I don't know, my head assumes
she's either a trial lesson or someone's wife. I have to consciously
remind myself that she could be a pilot or an engineer too, and I'm
always happy if they are!
I read somewhere
once that your first thought in a situation is social conditioning,
and the thoughts you have after are the real you. I don't want the
real me to be sexist, or perpetuating sexism through in-action. I try
to be conscious of what I'm thinking and why my head has wandered off
in that direction. It just takes a bit of stepping back and assessing
that isn't always easy to accomplish in the heat of the moment.
Basically I'm here
to have another little rant. To remind myself and anyone else who's
listening to not judge a book by it's cover; or a person by their
clothes. To try and continue being mindful of my thoughts and
actions. To try and make a teeny tiny bit of a difference to a world
that is still fighting for equality, because for some reason, we've
not got the hang of it yet!!
Anyone got any tips
for how to respond to people like this in the most
non-confrontational way possible? I'd like to spend a little less
time stressing about it next time it happens!!
Jo :)
